Good conversation: The best ingredient for family meals

By the time many family members arrive home at the end of the day, they're tired, hungry, and hassled -- hardly the frame of mind for great conversation.

"The stress and preoccupations of every day life can make it difficult for parents and children to find time for family dinners, and to 'reconnect' when they are together," said Dr. Tom Baranowski, a Baylor professor of pediatrics and psychologist with the CNRC's Behavioral Nutrition section. "Yet, family dinners, and the talk that can happen there, are extremely important."

According to Baranowski, family table-talk enables parents to show and express concern for their children, hear about their triumphs and defeats, and learn how to help them through childhood crisis-both large and small. Dinnertime conversations can also help parents refocus on their family after a busy day and to understand that they're not the only ones facing challenges.

To help families get talking, Baranowski offers these  strategies:

• Make dinnertime togetherness a family priority.
  If family dinners aren't common in your household, begin by scheduling just one per week. Pick a day when everyone can excuse themselves from other obligations to be present. Once family members learn the joys of connecting over weekly family dinners, consider increasing the frequency to two or more per week.
   
• Keep discussions interesting.
  
• Reciting a litany of work-woes or reviewing chore lists does little to build family ties or expand a child's view of the world.
   
• Create communication-promoting dinnertime rituals.
  
• For example, have each family member plan some type of statement to share. Some nights this could be something interesting done or learned that day or week; other nights, just something family members want to share, such as feelings or a silly joke. To break the ice, Baranowski suggests parents offer their statement first. This allows children to understand what is expected and feel more comfortable expressing feelings and thoughts.
   
• Keep comments positive and supportive.
  
• If children bring up problematic issues, suggest an after dinner talk to work out a solution together. This allows the child to save face and ensures that the dinner table is a safe place for children to bring up difficult topics.